Time

It's amazing how unforgiving time is. Viewed as an enemy, more often than not, that thing called time adds stress to us in such an unrelenting way. A slave-driver, you might say. Due dates, deadlines, time crunches, overbooked, overscheduled... time, time, time, time. We are a production oriented society, so it's all about time! How much can you do in how little TIME? Heck, we've made idols out of peope that can stuff an offensive amount of food down their gullet all because they can do it in such a small amount of time. Every second that passes, is a snapshot of our lives that we will never get back. How did I get to be xx years old? Where did the TIME go? Can't think about that right now... I have a deadline at work to meet. All this and I haven't even begun to touch the infamous 'Time is money' mantra! Man, what an enemy that 'time' truly is.

But wait. Is everything so one sided? In our lives, it is a rare occurrence that something is SO one-sided and mono-chromatic. It has a definitive beginning and end, a single-sided purpose, without exception, without excuse... ONE thing and ONE thing only- end of story. Time, is not that simple. Lest we forget, 'TIME heals all wounds'?

What's prompted my mental ramblings? Well, I've been feeling the punishing afffect of time- watching my kids get bigger, older, wiser, more mature. The days of 'little' slip through my fingers. As many have said, it feels like the tighter I try to grip, the quicker it slips through my hand. But, then I got to thinking. What about the time that has passed? The time that I wouldn't revisit, but wouldn't change. The beauty in time, I suppose. Rick and I have been through so much. TIME, moving as unforgiving and hurried as it does, is probably part of what helped us over the hump. I can't help but think that if time slowed down for just a moment during those times we've been through, that we wouldn't have made it. I don't think we're engineered to endured that which we don't absolutley HAVE to. Given a choice, more often than not, we'll take the less painful or less exerting route. Caught in a thought like this, I'm thankful for all those qualities that TIME has. It's swift and commanding nature... no matter what you do, you're not going to tell TIME how to operate.

WOW, maybe time's not exactly that ill-intended evil-doer that I often feel it to be. In my life and marriage, time has been a healer. It has been a powerful thing to help bring peace and perspective when emotions are fueled, feelings are hurt, and positions must be stood firm. Although I'm sad for the aspect of time that seems to pull my children from my bossom, I'm blessed for it. Blessed for the nurturing way God uses it to mold us and remove us. Remove us from who we were, what we were, where we were, what we were doing, who we were doing it with... and gracefully uses it to get us closer to Him.

Hmmm. Feeling a bit better about time for the moment. Eh, moment's gone... now I have to rush to my 10:30 commitment, having not done what I should have in this interim because I was drawn to sound out some thoughts in cyberspace.

Thanks for sharing in my sharing...
Jenny

joyful longing

Rick's been out of town since Monday. He returned last night.

I don't think I can sufficiently express what a wonderful feeling it is to miss someone and to be so happy to have them back. Nor could I adequately explain what a blessing it is to have their be such a gaping whole in your life, family, and home when they're away. I don't know if this makes sense, but I don't think I've ever been so happy to miss someone in my life! The implications of that longing are monumental. That sentiment didn't just ripple through our home... it rocked it! The kids were rather melancholy at certain times too. Times that Rick normally would be at his work here, and one of the kids would get quiet and rather solemn, then say, "I wish Daddy didn't have to go to Texas." I was so happy for them. Happy that they had the same feeling and longing to have him near that I did. Happy for Rick. Just happy.

I felt this sigh of relief to my core when I saw him standing at the airport awaiting our pick up. Strange as it seems, I think I heard the house let a sigh of relief when he walked through the door. It was like the rules of life didn't quite work the same while he was away... almost as if the rules of emotional gravity were somehow altered in this Salvador Dali kind of way.

What a relief to have him home. What a blessing he is. What a gift we've been given. God's grace is amazing. His patience with us is infinite. My marriage, moreover, my sincere admiration, respect, and appreciation for my husband, are a testament to God's wisdom, generosity and power. I find myself thanking God for so much. I'm genuinely remorseful for the years that I resented who Rick was as a man. More importantly, I thank God for showing me the man he created Rick to be and, in turn, helping me become the woman God intends me to be. What a blessing. What a blessing.

I pray that you would have the blessing of missing someone in your life.. the gift of longing and the experience of their absence revealing God in your life.

Have a most precious day holding close those God's given you. Trust that He has a plan to use those relationships to help deliver you to His feet and to glorify Him.

In awe and so VERY grateful,
Jenny

WOW! It's that easy...

For all this time that I've seen family and individual blogs, I've thought that they must have some serious computer genius in their family or, at the very least, be payinig a ton of money for some crazy Go Daddy dot com name. I'm so far out of the technical loop that I once understood. I spent some time this evening cleaning out my 'Inbox' and came across a link to a friend's blog. Then from there, there were links to other friends' blogs, and still more. Well, needless to say, my next move was to click 'create your own blog'. And, WA-LA, here I am.

Keep posted to see if I actually keep this thing updated. I'm making no promises of the eloquently written, tear inducing verbage that I've spent the past 30 minutes reading, but you may get a funny story or two about our gang and this beautiful thing we call 'family'.